Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
