woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
