Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
