I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize