you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
