are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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