Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
