He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do herpes really smell.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
