Christians are straight up FREAKS
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
