i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
