No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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