they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
