We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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