She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
