Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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