It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
