I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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