Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
