it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
