RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
