I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
