But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
