Princesses don't give blow jobs
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I die, sorry about rent.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
