So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
