dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
