I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
