Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need water and some morals
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
