There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
