it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
