it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
