The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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