so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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