i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
there is puke in my bra ... again
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
