so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
