You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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