just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
