if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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