You smell like stripper and shame
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
