problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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