Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
