accomplished twins. life is a go
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize