The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
