Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I could fuck to npr.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
