Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
