Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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