Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He did a backflip because drugs
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