I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
