Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
