i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
