Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
