Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
