Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
