So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
