dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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