Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
