I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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