kristin has been a bad kristin
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fuck appropriateness.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
