yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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