Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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