But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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