I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
