a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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