You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
