my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize