So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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