She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
