I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
