you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
