So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
