shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
