big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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