forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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