I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
