More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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