The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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