i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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